The Other Side of TikTok: When Friendships Get Complicated

The Kimberly Diaries - Archive 004

When I first started making TikTok videos, I never imagined where it would take me. What started as something fun eventually turned into costumes, characters, live performances, and an entire little world of my own.

Somewhere along the way, I discovered that TikTok wasn’t just about making videos. It was about people. I started recognizing familiar faces in my comments. I found myself spending time in other creators’ lives, laughing at things that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone outside of TikTok. I met people I looked forward to seeing and developed friendships that felt just as real as those outside the app. And that’s because they are real.

But real friendships also come with real complications.

The Side Nobody Warns You About

When you start creating content, people tell you about algorithms, hashtags, posting schedules, and how to get more views. Nobody really prepares you for the social side. The friendships. The misunderstandings. The groups that form. The expectations that sometimes come with being part of those groups. And sometimes, the drama.

I recently found myself caught in the middle of a personal situation that had nothing to do with me. People were hurt. Friendships changed. Lines were drawn.

I decided that I wasn’t going to choose sides in someone else’s personal conflict. That didn’t mean I approved of anyone’s behavior. It didn’t mean I didn’t care about the people who were hurt. It meant I wasn’t going to make someone else’s situation my responsibility. Apparently, that’s not always an acceptable answer.

Somewhere along the way, my decision to stay out of it became a reason for people to question where my loyalties were. There were assumptions that I was passing information between people, that I was somehow involved with trolls, or that remaining friendly with certain individuals meant I was secretly working against others. None of that was true.

I wasn’t feeding anyone information. I wasn’t participating in trolling. I wasn’t playing both sides. I was trying to stay out of something I didn’t create. And I learned that sometimes, when you refuse to choose a side, people will choose one for you.

When Online Friendships Hurt Offline

One of the hardest parts wasn’t the rumors. It was losing someone I genuinely believed was becoming a good friend. This was someone who valued direct communication and had always expressed the importance of talking to people when there was a problem. When the situation first unfolded, she explained why she needed to distance herself from someone involved. I understood her reasons. She also told me she respected my decision to remain neutral and that it wouldn’t change anything between us. I believed her.

But eventually, things changed. The friendship grew distant. When I reached out, I was given an explanation for why things had become difficult. I tried to understand, although some things didn’t make sense to me. Eventually, I found myself blocked.

And yes, that hurt. Not because anyone owes me a friendship. Nobody does. But because I genuinely cared about someone and believed we were building the kind of friendship where we could talk through uncomfortable things.

I didn’t expect anyone to compromise their boundaries for me. I just hoped there would be room for an honest conversation.

That’s one of the strange things about online friendships. You can spend months getting to know someone, laughing together, supporting one another, and building what feels like a genuine connection.

And then one day, that connection can disappear with the tap of a button. The screen might be digital, but the disappointment isn’t.

Not Every Friendship Has to Come With Conditions

I also want to be clear about something. Not everyone has reacted this way. There are people who have respected my decision, continued being supportive, and understood that friendship doesn’t have to mean agreeing on everything. And I appreciate those people more than they probably realize.

I’ve also learned that there’s a difference between respecting someone’s boundaries and being expected to adopt those boundaries as your own. Someone can decide they no longer want a relationship with another person. I can respect that without automatically making the same decision.

We can care about people, acknowledge when someone has been hurt, and still make our own choices about the relationships in our lives. Friendship shouldn’t require a loyalty test every time there’s a disagreement.

A Little Advice for New TikTok Creators

If you’re thinking about becoming a creator, I would absolutely encourage you to give it a try. Creating content has given me an outlet I didn’t even know I needed. I’ve discovered how much I enjoy entertaining people, experimenting with ideas, and occasionally making a complete fool of myself in a costume. But there are a few things I wish every new creator understood.

1. Remember why you started.

Whether you’re creating videos to make people laugh, share something you love, or simply have fun, don’t lose sight of that reason. It’s easy to get distracted by numbers, opinions, and everything happening around you. Views will fluctuate. Trends will change. Not everyone will understand your content. Create because you enjoy creating.

2. Be friendly, but don’t feel obligated to join every circle.

TikTok communities can be wonderful. You’ll meet people who support you, encourage you, and make the experience more enjoyable. But you don’t have to belong to every group or participate in every disagreement. You can support other creators without making their personal conflicts your own.

3. Don’t confuse being supportive with being responsible.

You can listen to someone who’s hurting. You can care about what they’re going through. But you don’t have to become their spokesperson, investigator, or messenger. And you certainly don’t have to prove your friendship by turning against someone else.

4. Protect your peace without losing your kindness.

This one has probably been my biggest lesson. You can set boundaries without being cruel. You can walk away from uncomfortable situations without making a public announcement.

And you can refuse to participate in drama without wishing anything bad on the people involved. Sometimes the best response is to simply keep living your life.

5. Remember that there’s a real person behind every account.

It’s easy to forget that when we’re looking at usernames and profile pictures. But the things we say, the assumptions we make, and the way we treat one another can affect people long after they close the app. A little communication and kindness can go a long way. And sometimes, asking a question before believing a rumor can save a friendship.

Finding My Way Back to the Fun

Despite everything, I don’t regret becoming a creator. Not even close. I’ve met some wonderful people. I’ve laughed until my face hurt. I’ve discovered a creative side of myself that keeps growing. And somehow, what started as a few videos turned into an entire universe of characters with their own personalities, costumes, and stories. I still love that part.

I love making people laugh. I love coming up with ridiculous ideas and seeing whether I can actually pull them off. I love the people who show up because they genuinely enjoy what I create. What I don’t love is the feeling that participating in a creative community means I have to participate in every conflict that happens within it. So I’m learning to separate the two.

I can enjoy TikTok without involving myself in everyone’s personal lives. I can appreciate friendships while accepting that not all of them will last. And I can be disappointed by someone’s choices without turning that disappointment into a public battle.

If there’s one thing this experience has taught me, it’s that not everyone will understand your decisions, even when your intentions are good. And sometimes, no amount of explaining will change that. But I’m not here to collect enemies.

I’m here to create, laugh, entertain, and enjoy the little corner of TikTok I’ve built. Because at the end of the day, I didn’t come to TikTok to choose sides. I came to be myself. And apparently, myself owns a ridiculous number of wigs.

-Kimberly