KIMBOVERSE CHRONICLES Volume Two: The Replacement Program Chapter Two: The Cookie Cabinet Featuring Kimberkin There are two things you should never give someone with imaginary political authority: an official-looking letter and a reason to believe they’re being promoted. Unfortunately, Kimberkin had received both. Kimberkin’s Official Statement Once upon a snack… I received a letter. Not a regular letter. An important letter. It was black with gold writing and said CONFIDENTI

Chronicals | Vol 1, Chapter 1 Kimberkin’s Archives — Entry 003 Once upon a snack… I was minding my own business when KimberCrim appeared holding a clipboard. This is never a good sign. She told me the Kimboverse was holding an election and that my participation was extremely important. I asked whether there would be refreshments. She said there would be cookies. Naturally, I agreed. She handed me a piece of paper and told me to sign my name. I asked what I was signing. She s

There are two kinds of people in this world. People who wake up at 2:13 in the morning, realize they’re hungry, and go back to sleep. And people who understand that the universe has issued a snack-related emergency. I am the second kind. I entered the kitchen quietly. Not because I was trying to hide anything. Because snacks behave differently when they know you’re coming. The refrigerator light came on. We made eye contact. I surveyed my options. Leftover pizza, string chees