The Cookie Election

Chronicals | Vol 1, Chapter 1

Kimberkin’s Archives — Entry 003

Once upon a snack…

I was minding my own business when KimberCrim appeared holding a clipboard.

This is never a good sign.

She told me the Kimboverse was holding an election and that my participation was

extremely important.

I asked whether there would be refreshments.

She said there would be cookies.

Naturally, I agreed.

She handed me a piece of paper and told me to sign my name.

I asked what I was signing.

She said it was for a better future.

I asked if the future included chocolate chips.

She said yes.

I signed twice.

Apparently, this made me Supreme Minister of Emergency Cookies.

I wasn’t entirely sure what a minister did, but I assumed it involved distributing snacks.

I immediately began preparing for my new responsibilities.

First, I appointed myself Head of Quality Control.

Then I ate three cookies to ensure they met official standards.

They did.

I ate two more to confirm the results.

Science requires consistency.

Unfortunately, The Ruler did not appreciate my dedication to public service.

She informed me that my election was invalid.

I asked whether that meant I had to return the cookies.

She said no.

So technically, I still won.

Then she told me the entire suggestion box had been shut down.

KimberCrim said this was an attack on democracy.

I wasn’t sure what democracy was, but if it involved taking away cookies, I was against it.

She suggested we start a petition.

I asked whether petitions were edible.

She said no.

I declined.

Then she mentioned we could hold a bake sale to fund the campaign.

I reconsidered.

And that is how I became involved in a political movement I still don’t understand.

But I do understand one thing.

If you’re going to promise someone cookies in exchange for their vote, you should probably have the cookies ready.

Because I have standards.

The End.

Snack Squad Official Record: Election disputed. Cookies consumed. Campaign financing under investigation.

P.S. KimberCrim just informed me that The Ruler has banned petitions.

She says she has another idea.

It involves Kimbo’s costume closet.

I’m bringing snacks.

-Kimberkin

End Chapter 1

Chapter 2 ➡

⬅ Prologue