The Great Kimboverse Suggestion Box Incident
Updated: Oct 19
Chronicles | Vol 1, Chap 2
KimberCrim’s Crimson Files — Entry 003
The Ruler has made a terrible mistake.
She installed a suggestion box.
Apparently, she thought giving everyone in the Kimboverse an opportunity
to express their concerns would improve morale.
Adorable.
The box was labeled:
CONSTRUCTIVE SUGGESTIONS ONLY.
I immediately had concerns about the word constructive.
It seemed unnecessarily restrictive.
So I submitted my first suggestion.
“Remove the word constructive.”
Rejected.
My second suggestion was that all official meetings should include snacks, mandatory naps, and a five-minute period where everyone gets to complain about The Ruler.
Also rejected.
Clearly, the system was broken.
Naturally, I decided to improve it.
I recruited Kimberkin.
She was hesitant until I explained that we were conducting an important experiment
involving democracy.
Then I mentioned cookies.
She agreed immediately.
Our plan was simple.
Every suggestion placed in the box would be reviewed by us before reaching
The Ruler. We weren’t censoring anyone. We were improving communication.
For example, Kimbercoon’s suggestion for a larger karaoke stage became:
“All official announcements must be delivered through interpretive dance.”
Kimbopausal’s request for better temperature control became:
“Install a thermostat that only displays the words GOOD LUCK.”
Kimberkin’s request for additional snack storage became:
“Appoint Kimberkin Supreme Minister of Emergency Cookies.”
That one passed unanimously.
There were two votes.
Both were Kimberkin’s.
I supervised.
Everything was going beautifully until The Ruler called an emergency meeting.
Apparently, someone had submitted a suggestion that she be replaced with a
decorative houseplant.
She demanded to know who was responsible.
I explained that the suggestion box was supposed to be anonymous.
She said anonymity didn’t apply when the handwriting matched mine.
Honestly, this obsession with handwriting is becoming concerning.
She then informed us that the suggestion box was being removed.
Which seemed rather dramatic.
After all, we were only trying to make the Kimboverse a better place.
And technically, we succeeded.
Kimberkin got more cookies.
Kimbercoon started practicing interpretive dance.
And Kimbopausal said the new thermostat was the most accurate one she’d ever seen.
The Ruler, however, has banned me from participating in future administrative improvements.
Unfortunate.
But she never said I couldn’t start a petition.
Today’s Behavior Basics Lesson:
When someone asks for your opinion, always give it.
Preferably in writing.
And if your suggestion gets rejected, submit it again under a different name.
That’s called persistence.
You’re improving already.
— KimberCrim
P.S. Kimberkin signed the petition. She thought it was a cookie order form.
End Chapter 2
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