SYSTEM STATUS: COMPROMISED
Updated: Nov 2
Chronicals | Vol 1, Chap 3
Ruler's Archive - Entry 004
An internal review has confirmed that the Kimboverse Suggestion Box has been operating without proper supervision.
The box was installed for one purpose:
To collect constructive suggestions from residents of the Kimboverse.
It was not intended to serve as a platform for constitutional amendments, unauthorized elections, or the redistribution of snack-related authority.
Nevertheless, all three have occurred.
The first irregularity was discovered when a routine request for additional karaoke equipment was replaced with a proposal requiring all official announcements to be delivered through interpretive dance.
This was followed by a request to install a thermostat displaying only the words:
GOOD LUCK.
The proposal was approved.
There is no record of who approved it.
There is, however, a receipt for glitter.
Further investigation revealed the creation of an unauthorized government position:
Supreme Minister of Emergency Cookies.
Kimberkin currently holds this position.
Her qualifications remain unclear.
Her office consists of a folding chair and a biscuit tin.
She has already requested a raise.
The most concerning submission proposed replacing The Ruler with a decorative houseplant.
The plant was described as:
“Less controlling. Better listener. Requires minimal maintenance.”
This proposal received two votes.
Both signatures appear to belong to Kimberkin.
When questioned, Kimberkin stated that she believed she was voting on cookies.
This explanation has been accepted.
The investigation then turned to KimberCrim.
She denied interfering with the suggestion box.
She described her involvement as “administrative assistance.”
When presented with evidence, she questioned the legality of handwriting analysis.
She then submitted a formal complaint against the investigation.
Through the suggestion box. Which had already been confiscated.
OFFICIAL FINDINGS
The suggestion box has been removed.
All unauthorized appointments are revoked.
Interpretive dance is not an approved method of official communication.
The thermostat will be restored to normal operation.
The decorative houseplant will remain in its current location.
It has committed no violations.
KimberCrim is prohibited from creating committees, petitions, elections, suggestion boxes, or any system involving anonymous written submissions.
Kimberkin has been informed that she is no longer Supreme Minister of Emergency Cookies.
She has requested severance snacks.
That request is under review.
FINAL RULING
The suggestion box was intended to improve communication.
It has instead resulted in a constitutional crisis, a snack-based government, and an attempted replacement of management with vegetation.
Future suggestions must be submitted directly to The Ruler.
KimberCrim has already asked whether this includes suggestions about The Ruler.
The answer is no.
SYSTEM STATUS: QUESTIONABLE.
RULING: FINAL.
— The Ruler
Administrative Addendum: A petition to reinstate the suggestion box has been discovered. It contains 47 signatures. Thirty-nine are written in crimson ink. Eight are drawings of cookies
END CHAPTER 3
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